Cock-a-doodle-do.

The Rain Man and I are in Cape Town visiting the siblings and The Salty C Dog for the weekend - happy place! It's been too long since I last visited iKapa and last night we decided to get a little bit loose at &Union, followed by a post Weiss beer binge at Gourmet Burger. The head is tender today and I'm having flashbacks of us, a table of 'adults', drawing penis doodles all over the paper tablecloth at GB. Well, the girls were the culprits, the boys looked on in scarlet-faced embarrassment and used everything they could to hide the grotesque members that stared at them from below. Now they know how we feel!

And then BANG. I stumble upon this most awesome Doodle Duvet today, courtesy of  Stitch Design Works in Mud Island. The duvet emulates a piece of ruled paper and comes complete with 8 wash-out colour pens, meaning you can doodle to your heart's content and wash 'em out in the morning. Write a story, scribble a note, leave a message, compose a song, doodle a meerkat - perfect for late-night phone calls to your long distance lover! 

The 100% cotton 200 thread-count duvet cover will set you back 45 squirrels and is available to order online. 

Loves it. 

brandslut xoxo

Talking Trash

DDB Berlin have pushed the boundary for client VW with their new ambient campaign to let Germany know that the new Polo is made from 95% recycled materials. Recycling is big in Germany [and Japan] and DDB decided to use recycling bins, a previously underutilised space, to get their point across. Whilst I feel the execution is eye-catching and [kinda] gets the point across, I also feel the campaign is a dangerous one that  renders the product disposable or compares the car to trash. Or is it just me?

Der new Polo, made from 95% recycled materials

"Two Martinis, bitte."

"Dry?"

"Nein, I said TWO!"

brandslut xoxo

C is for Clowns

Cell C continue to show us their true colours: red, yellow, gold and all things circus. The cellular service provider has been ordered by the ASA to remove its latest campaign featuring the 4Gs symbol which has proved to be misleading and utter bollocks. CEO Lars Reichelt is now back-peddling and claiming that the use of the 4Gs symbol in their campaign has nothing to do with the building of a technically superior network [bullsh*t], but stands for 'For Great Service' and 'For Great Speed'. Click here for more. And if you read here you'll see that Lars has been fully aware of his misleading actions since February. 

Cell C CEO, Lars Reichelt

Here for my previous article on Cell C. 

brandslut xoxo

Here Comes the Hotstepper

As a lover of all things French et formidable, I thought this recent print ad from the Bad Boys at Saatchi & Saatchi Düsseldorf was interesting. In fact, I think they’ve played out of their pain-toffels for client Delifrance’s ready-to-bake-at-home range. Simple, effective, sweet.

J'ai faim maintenant.

brandslut xoxo

iBoobs

Ladies, not sure whether or not you're prepared to drop 30 gorillas on tweaking your twins? Never fear, iAugment App is here! Simply upload a photo of yourself with your weapons of mass distraction out, or in view, should I say, and use the simple tweaker thingie to make 'em bigger or smaller. 

The new Apple iRack

Cripes, what next! Wait a minute, I think I might just know the answer to that. Sies. 

brandslut xox

The Reel Deal

I seem to have inherited The Salty C Dog's green fingers which at this stage is proving to be more of a curse than a talent. Clothing shopping has got nothin' on garden shopping. Fact. Jozi's climate is perfect to grow just about anything and you'd be silly not to. The bushy Bad Boys in the tub on the right are Heinz tomatoes and I planted them as seedlings three weeks ago. Holy crap! They pretty much grow like weeds and soon I'll be able to have an entire salad from the garden. Note to self: must buy goat. 

 I've now managed to add artichokes, basil, mint, parsley, coriander, lettuce, tomatoes, chilli, avocado, nectarines, figs, raspberries, tree-tomatoes, carrots, spinach, green-beans, butternut and edible flowers to my Garden of Death. Yes, Mr. Carrot, you will be murdered at some point, sorry about that. 

Claire Reid is my hero and also the hot young South African mastermind behind Reel Gardening:

"Reel Gardening is a simple, cost-effective and convenient means for people to grow vegetables, herbs, and flowers from seed. Reel Gardening is a biodegradable paper strip that encases seeds with fertiliser at the correct distance apart.  The strip is planted vertically and indicates the correct depth that it must be buried below the soil.  The depth varies according to the variety and is indicated by a colour-coded strip. 

Reel Gardening is aimed at a health conscious consumer as well as individuals who do not have the ability to carry out the often complicated tasks encountered when trying to sow seeds. Reel Gardening produces ten vegetables, nine herbs and three flowers"

Bang. How awesome is that? 

She invented the Reel Gardening concept at 16 and has since gone on to win a compost heap of awards, including the Stockholm Junior Water Prize. Claire's seed-strips make growing fruit, vegetables and flowers fool-proof and can be purchased here or online. Get your company to get involved in CSI through the Garden in a Box concept which enables and empowers communities to implement their own  sustainable food projects throughout South Africa through a user-friendly and educational medium with which Reel Gardening hopes to alleviate food shortages and promote self-sustaining communities.

 Now you've got no excuse. 

 brandslut xoxo

Heita!

Get used to it. Heita! is the name of Telkom's new consumer mobile business. Personally, I prefer Yowza!, but that's neither here nor there. Industry whispers reveal that the launch of the consumer mobile service is planned for October 14th - heita, thats's soon!

At first I thought the name was rank. And then I learnt that heita is township slang for howzit which has changed the way I feel toward the brand name, but I guess the proof is in the service and execution and let's just hope they don't pull a Cell C and c*ck up their C.I. I also hope this new consumer mobile service provider puts a fire-cracker beneath the bums of the other cellular service providers in South Africa who could do with a little competition. Free local calls? A ridonculous amount of monthly minutes? Decent customer service? Take a leaf from the Yanks and Pomms on this one, Telkom. 

Heita!

 brandslut xoxo

People of WalMart

With all this crazy talk of American retail giant WalMart threatening to buy South Africa's MassMart (which runs Game, Dion, Makro and Builder's Warehouse, among other chains) for a whopping R32 billion, I thought I'd share this little gem with y'all. PEOPLE OF WALMART is a website comprising photos, videos and stories from within the beast. If white-trash and rednecks fascinate you, you'll love this.

Mullet Barbie

Especially for the cane & cream-sode drinking okes in Debben

Now, it's a Saturday morning and I'm not in the mood to get all serious (say that in your best  Kipp from Napoleon Dynamite accent) and discuss trade unions and why South Africans are up in arms about the potential buy-out, so read the full Mail & Guardian article here.

Class!

brandslut xoxo

I Believe In A Well Hung Parliament

Search marketing is something that gets me aroused, and apparently UK adult retailer Ann Summers feels the same way. For those of you outside the circle of trust, search marketing promotes websites by increasing visibility in search results. If you’re not interested in search and content strategy you’re a dinosaur in my opinion and also missing a massive marketing and awareness opportunity, especially in Mzansi.

“By using paid search as a brand marketing tool - by bidding on high volume, topical keywords with cheeky and humorous campaigns, Ann Summers generated significant eyeballs online and PR benefits offline. The strategy was not to deliver clicks, but instead to leverage the paid search mechanic to cheekily insert the Ann Summers brand into unusual places.”

British Airways strikes: The planes may be grounded, but you can still join the mile high club!

Budget 2010: There's no recession in pleasure!

Snow 2010: Stay in and stay warm with our steamy sex toys!

and my personal favs’...

Election 2010: Visit Ann Summers & find out why we believe in a well hung parliament and We specialise in long, hard elections!

Helen Zille believes in a well hung parliament

The campaigns generated a cuck-load of impressions, not just from the ads themselves, but also from PR around the naughty little campaign. The ads generated over 1.5 million impressions for a spend of less than £4500 (about R50 000) - a CPM of 0.003p (about 3.3c).

Now that you're in the mood, here's an old favourite to kick off the weekend with a bang.

Grr, happy Friday y'all.

brandslut xoxo

Unless You Want To Look Like A 70's P*rn Star

Get your paws on this awesome little Safeway 'poodle' trimmer I stumbled upon in Clicks yesterday. It's impossible to have a perfectly manicured ness (short for selfness) at all times and this is the perfect solution to take the edge off. Comes in a range of cute girly designs and complete with AAA battery and facial hair trimmer for R99. Score! The Wild Woman of Borneo is going to love this!

 

Keeping your ness, nice.

Before

 

 Yours in all things kempt,

 

brandslut xoxo