Unless You Want To Look Like A 70's P*rn Star

Get your paws on this awesome little Safeway 'poodle' trimmer I stumbled upon in Clicks yesterday. It's impossible to have a perfectly manicured ness (short for selfness) at all times and this is the perfect solution to take the edge off. Comes in a range of cute girly designs and complete with AAA battery and facial hair trimmer for R99. Score! The Wild Woman of Borneo is going to love this!

 

Keeping your ness, nice.

Before

 

 Yours in all things kempt,

 

brandslut xoxo

I Heart My New Headers

The Source of Visual Inspiration has yet again played out of his creative boots with these cheeky little Brandslut blog-headers. It's been impossible to choose between 'em and I think the only solution is rotation. Sigh, the decisions I have to make on a daily basis. Which is your fav?

 

Check out more of his genius here. 

brandslut xoxo

Famous Brands Now Owns Vovo Telo's Ass

Famous Brands now owns 51% of Vovo Telo's ass. The brand will fall under FB's Theatre of Foods division which accommodates privately owned non-mainstream food-service businesses, acquired through JV. This would normally make me nervous, but given the way FB have managed the roll-out of Tasha's, another favourite of mine, I'm fine with the acquisition. I'm thrilled, in fact, because this means Cape Town will soon be graced with the presence that is Vovo Telo.

"Famous Brands CEO, Kevin Hedderwick, is confident that the Vovo Telo brand network can be expanded to 50 franchised bakery/restaurants within five years."

Yowza, that's fighting talk, Kev!

The Port Elizabeth born artisan bakery brand, founded by Matthew Repton and his partners Dave & Marisa Evans, currently boasts 3 stores nationally - 2 in The Friendly City and 1 in Jozi. Matthew and his 2 musketeers will be retained to run the brand and develop it further while having full access to Famous Brands' business model. If you've never been, get your gluts to 44 Stanley, Richmond Hill or Newton Park in the shake of a lamb's tail. I recommend their Reuben, entire breakfast menu and killer cups-of-ccino. Website here, could do with an online menu to whet the appetite.



A Vovo Telo baker throwing out a massive vibe.



Yours in love of freshly baked bread,

brandslut xoxo

How Do You Like Them Apples?

I have burgers franchises on the brain this week it seems, man I miss Royale! Jozi is starved for a gourmet burger joint. This isn't new, but I wish we'd see more of this in South Africa, given that 56% of women and 29% of men in Mzansi are classified as obese. Apparently urban black women need to spend the most time on the treadmill, followed by women of mixed ancestory, then whites and lastly Indians.

Fresh Apple 'fries'. I see what they did there.

Burger King in the US offer Fresh Apple Fries, served neatly in a French-fry box. How cute is that?! I think local fast food retailers could follow suit and offer more than just awful Greek 'salads' made with iceberg lettuce. The bloat, people! The bloat. I also love how overseas websites like this offer uber concise nutritional information on every product they serve.

If you must, do fries the French way.

brandslut xoxo

McMulti-Billion Dollar Refurbishment

 

Sies

Whilst lounging pool-side with The Restaurateur (did you know restaurateur does not contain an 'n'?) and The Hot Scientist yesterday at Fairlawns Boutique Hotel and Spa, sippin' on a strawberry daiq and generally perusing the interweb, I stumbled upon an interesting McNugget of information detailing the McDonald's 2011 global refurbishment and expansion plan. 

The world’s largest chain of hamburger fast food restaurants is looking to revamp their menus, store design and ordering experience. With a juicy budget of $2.4 billion, in 2011 McDonald's is set to rebuild 400, refurbish 1,600 and create an additional ton. Yowza.

 "With over 31,000 restaurants worldwide located in over 100 countries, the big challenge for McDonald's is to curate each restaurant to account for different cultural dining practices.  To do this McDonald's VP of concept and design Denis Weil has created a team of corporate design leaders to research and get a feel for local design trends which will make each restaurant unique to its area. Juicy Design’s Tom Williams has been working with the restaurant giant since 2003, redeveloping restaurants in Australia and now across Asia and the US.  He states the design brief was simply to “make things unique.”

This is the first complete make-over since the 70's and there are a few interesting changes happening. Along with every oke and his dog, Ray will be relocating his coffee machines in McCafé  units to sit flush with the tills to 'enhance the barista experience'. Yawn. Oats served at breakfast will be hand-stirred (ground-breaking) at least 12 times to emulate the home-made experience and drive-through spaces will be redesigned to cope with bigger orders and more traffic in order to minimise waiting times.

$2.4 billion equates to R16,843,680,154.58. That's also what it would cost to educate 120,000,000 African children for a year. I'm just saying. 

brandslut xoxo

Stop, Drop & Doss

Okay, so the wind schooled The Supermodel and I a few years back at Rocking The Daisies and I would HATE for the same thing to happen to you in a couple of weeks at RTD 2010 in Darling, my poppet. Here's how you solve the little pain-in-the-ass-tent-erection problem:



OMFG

 

To order one of these Bad Boys in any size or colour, log onto Rodrigo Alonso's website and get your paws on a Selk 'Bag.

Jou ma se Cape Union Mart,

brandslut xoxo

Green Wedding Shoes

With The Supermodel and The Investment Banker recently engaged, along with what seems like everyone else around me (epidemic), I thought this post particularly apt. The Source of Visual Inspiration let this little meerkat out of his bag and I just HAVE to share it with you. Green Wedding Shoes is a blog by a gal called Jen Campbell who's head over heels in love with all things weddings. It's Jen's outlet to express her love for love, vintage, design, photography and holy matrimony. These are some of my favs... 

Over-sized vintage paper windmills

Ink and lace

Camp wedding

Save-the-date on crack

Gold sparkly 'I Do' Toms

Carnival themed engagement

Piano in the desert engagement photographs

Vintage Louboutin lovin'

Personalised groomsmen's floral ties

Desert engagement photographs

Quirky bride & bridesmaids

Makin' hay

Chocolate chip bags of love

 Yours in all things vintage and lovely, 

brandslut xoxo

Brand South Africa

The view from my bean-bag at Chaf-Pozi

Another cracker weekend lies in my dust and I can almost taste summer. I love how spirits and hem-lines lift as the silly-season approaches. Tomorrow would be a good day to dust off my Adidas MiCoach training regime (here) and get this bushman into shape for Cape Town - t minus three months. Sh*t balls.

I'm sitting on the lawn outside, taking in the sounds and smells of spring and reflecting on an ayoba weekend in a beautiful, eclectic and crazy country.  A friend of mine is the patriotic genius behind I Luv SA and the I Luv JHB events which take place at The Codfather in Rivonia on the first Saturday of every month. (website here). What's the occasion? An opportunity for like minded patriots and Jozi lovers to congregate, celebrate and enjoy great local food and music. 

Added recently to the I Luv repertoire is ILOVESOWETO which the crew embraced in all its glory at Chaf-Pozi yesterday. Chaf-Pozi (website here) is an upmarket shebeen nestled between the iconic FNB Towers which have now been revamped and transformed into a bungy and bridge-swing platform, with the shebeen below providing the perfect viewing flatform in the form of bean-bags, couches and benches. My outfit wasn't entirely appropriate for bungy jumping, but The Social Strategist did us all proud. As did the bachelor who was forced to leap naked, keeping the ladies agasp as he and his toti dangled upside-down.

Content with our entertainment and lunch of pap, chak and beef stew, many beers and Vawters down, we couldn't help but remark on the tangible transformation unfolding before us. Here we are, a completely eclectic group of people congregating in Soweto to enjoy shebeen-cuisine and the beats of Ben Kay, The Stella's and MO and the Dark Knights. I've been to Soweto four times in as many months and I plan to make ILOVESOWETO a regular fixture on my social calendar. The third Saturday of every month people. Just say yes. 

I hope more South African cities embrace the concept of I Luv SA and that  I'll soon have the opportunity to experience I Luv DBN, ILOVEBLOEM and IHEARTCT. Sponsorship opportunity, anyone? 

Yours in admiration of this awesome country in which we live, 

brandslut xoxo

Lambshank Redemption?

Fresh from the bag

I can't seem to escape the term sous-vide at the moment and I have to admit, I'm a little disturbed. Sous-vide means 'under vacuum' and this term is used to define a cooking method that extends the shelf-life of food by cooking it for a long period of time (sometimes longer than 24 hours), under-water in vacuum sealed bags at low temperatures, usually around 60 degrees celcius. It's the removal of oxygen and bacteria from the process which allows for the extended shelf-life. BUT. Contamination can indeed occur in the form of botulinum toxin poisoning. Yikes. Okay, so it's not fool-proof.

I had a meeting recently with a company who are pioneering sous-vide in South Africa and I couldn't quite wrap my head around it all. I mean sure, scientifically speaking it makes sense, but I don't know if I'll ever be comforatble with buying meat and other food with ridonculously long shelf-lives. You'll be amazed at how many big South African restaurant brands serve sous-vide food, including items like curry and lambshank. Yes, there's a restaurant you've been to that serves sous-vide lambshank. I'm not sure if I'm freaked out more by the shelf-life of the product I'm consuming, or the inability of restaurants to produce these items themselves. Apparently Heston Blumenthal himself is a sucker for sous-vide. Well I'll be...

Okay, now this is the meaty part. Currently South African sous-vide food producers manufacture a product that must be chilled and has a 6 month shelf life. Technology is about to be launched enabling storage at ambient temperature for a year. Yes, that means your whole roast chicken can kick back in the pantry alongside your couscous and curry-powder for 12 months before it starts to botox itself.

How do you feel about being served meat at a restaurant that's been sitting on an ambient shelf for 9 months? Or am I the only dinosaur who feels this is weird? I'd love to know. Oh, and check out these awesome anti-theft lunch bags I found amidst my research (here), perfect to dissuade klepto-colleagues.

brandslut xoxo

Limber

Keeping it limber

Did you also wake up on Monday morning feeling like you needed a bottle of Myprodol and a weekend? Christmas. Okay, so maybe it had something to do with the Champion's League 20/20 cricket  on Friday night. Or the virgin excursion to The Sterkfontein Caves at The Cradle of Humankind, or Human-man-kind as The Consultant so eloquently put it, followed by a braai on crack at ours on Saturday. Firstly, I'd like to recommend The Cradle and caves, do yourself a favour. Secondly, let me introduce you to the little game The Doctor whipped out of his bag-o-tricks. The best part? You won't need to, or be able to, exercise for a week thereafter. 

1. Grab an empty cereal box

2. Assemble your crew and explain the rules: feet have to remain firmly on the ground, no leverage, no hands, grab the box with your teeth and then stand up straight again without dropping the box - each person gets 3 attempts per round

3. When the whole team has had a turn, you tear off a 2-3cm strip from the top of the box and start again

4. If a member of the team can't do it after 3 attempts, he/she is out and must drink

5. The game continues until there's a flat piece of card on the ground and the winner is the human pretzel that can pick it up

... it's kinda like the reverse limbo and you'll be amazed at your flexibility and inner-thigh strength. I miraculously bent and balanced myself to the last round but was trumped by The Doctor and The Social Strategist who are both worryingly flexible. 

Sunday was spent drinking frozen margaritas at 44 Stanley's Spring Fair with The Consultant. Enough said. Note to self: must buy frozen margarita machine for summer.

The first half of this week has been a biggie too! The Nolan's Cheddar commercial goes viral (view here), David Thorne does it again (here) Lady Gaga pisses off PETA by wearing meat couture at this year's VMA awards, brandslut readers are now able to comment and The Supermodel and The Investment Banker got engaged in Siena, Italy on Monday. Lots and lots of tears, and feeling a little emotional about the engagement too. 

 Keep it limber, 

 brandslut xoxo

Dirty

 

"In spring, at the end of the day, one should smell like dirt" - Margaret Atwood

Upon reading my I Heart Anatomically Correct Design post (here), the lovely people at Anatomy Design sent me a thank you and informed me of Flower Power, 44 Stanley's spring celebration taking place this Sunday September 12th. Great food, live music, spring collections, it's all happening in Braamfontein! So throw on your glad rags and lets get dirrrrrrty. 

Grrrrr,

 

Brandslut xoxo

Holy Bowly

My new bowls, kicking it on the lawn

Cripes. I'm turning into The Salty C Dog more every day. I left the office today and made a bee line for the local nursery, my new favourite place where the only bother is thorns, bees and the odd rogue sprinkler. My lettuce has all gone to seed (tip, break off the head when the lettuce starts to look a little alien and it'll continue to grow as intended) and I needed to replenish all things home-grown for the summer. My  obsession for cultivation begun after watching Food Inc. (click here to watch the trailer) and I decided it was time to vote with my own wallet. I can't remember when last I bought anything green from a supermarket and my salad and rocket leaves last for weeks in the fridge. It just shows how long the produce we buy has been 'in transit' before we consume it - days, sometimes years. 

So today I left the nursery a little lighter than usual, tomatoes, eish lettuce (yes, it's actually called eish lettuce), chillies and a range of gorgeous pink flower seeds in tow, ready to tackle summer salads n' barbeques, baby. You know you're turning into your mother when you replace the Haute Cabriere Chardonnay Pinot  Noir with secateurs. You also know you're turning into your mother when you start to adopt her hobbies, like pottery, the new love of my life. I needed to flex my creative muscle and embrace my inner Demi Moore and started weekly pottery classes with Anne Rimbault (website here) in Bordeaux. The little bowls pictured above are fresh from the kiln and were my first [dismal] attempt at the wheel. Anyhoo, I think they're kinda cute, and I'm looking forward to graduating to bigger things, like cereal bowls. 

All I can say is that if you're feeling like something's missing, grow something, or make something, you'll be amazed at how satisfying it is. 

Back to basics, 

brandslut xoxo

This Is How I Blog

Hobbes, trying to find the mouse

How nunu is that?! Bless his little ginger cotton socks. Anyhoo, enough about me and continuing this week's unplanned theme of blogging, a dear friend has been awarded a prestigious nomination in the SA Blog Awards 2010 food writing category and it's time to cast your vote for the talented Jamie Who. All you need to do is click here and your vote has been cast, no fannying around with filling in details and deciphering codes to prove you're indeed a human. Once you've kindly cast your vote, check out Jamie Who here.

Heroes in a half-shell, 

brandslut xoxo

Domestic Sluttery

Tea Rex

I can always count on The Luxury Meerkat to keep me abreast of all things Londontastic, and this week she’s played out of her polka dot Cath Kidston oven-mitts. Domestic Sluttery is a home and lifestyle blog for women who have better things to do, written by a collective of fabulous British women who cook, decorate and design… usually with a glass of wine in hand. We’re a match made in blogging heaven and I am absolutely loving their vibe. Who wouldn’t love a backpack made to look like the Ghostbusters Proton Pack, or pink ruffled bedding from Urban Outfitters? Click here to link to Domestic Sluttery.

Here’s some of the design p*rn I heart (click to link):

Tomorrow something wonderful will happen
Geekinesis cupcake wrapper
Yellow submarine tea infuser
Laptop disguise

 

I also stumbled upon this gorgeous little macaron ring, perfect for the lovely Cape Town Girl. Click here for CTG’s blog, nominated last week in the South African Blog Awards’ top ten most entertaining blogs category. Don’t forget to cast your vote!

Yours in domestic bliss,

brandslut xoxo

From Tasha with Love

Dr. Paw Paw

It’s funny how life works. I fell into coffee a number of years ago living in Cape Town. No, I didn’t trip over someone’s pooch outside Vida Camps Bay and dive nose-first into some prawn’s macchiato, I mean the industry. Coffee locally morphed into coffee internationally which led to food retail, food service, restaurants, consulting and here I am, in 2010, a fully-fledged food marketeer (amongst other things). Never in a million years…

The reason I’m sharing my micro curriculum vitae with you is so that you understand my insane passion for food and all things related. I photograph almost everything I eat, reading a menu is forever ruined and I’ve become one of those annoying people who always feed back. Feedback, that is. No, I won’t give you back your koeksuster.

One of Jozi’s gems is Tasha’s. It’s been around for a while and boasts 5 stores, the most recent being within the Brooklyn Design Quarter which I visited on opening day. Understanding the restaurant trade and the craziness that surrounds a new store launch, I was blown away by how composed the staff and management seemed to be. I even had a chance to meet Tasha as she Tazmanian Devilled herself around the joint, ensuring all was slick and all customers were happy.

The point I want to make is one of quality and consistency. I have never had a disappointing meal at Tasha’s and I’m fine with paying above-average prices because I know that I’ll always get great service and a fabulous meal that looks droolicious on my plate, is beyond filling and is made from premium ingredients. This weekend I tried Dr. Paw Paw for breakie – a whole paw-paw, halved and topped with Greek yoghurt, toasted almonds and honey, for R46. OMFG, as my dear friend Gold would say. I’m a creature of habit and fear I may never manage to order anything else for breakfast again. Their Turkish flat-breads and Turkish delight cocktails are total crowd-pleasers too. Tasha’s also offer a specials menu with home-grown treats like braai broodjie, gourmet wors roll & fries, cranberry bobotie and pampoenkoekies. OMFG.

On the topic of consistency, their website completely embodies the essence, tone and love that is Tasha’s and you ‘get it’ immediately. Click here to visit the Tasha’s website, one of the nicest and most effective sites I’ve seen in ages, along with Nando’s which you can view by clicking  here. Check out their franchise page, mountain dwellers, because Cape Town needs a Tasha’s immediately.

Let’s hope that Tasha’s recent acquisition by Famous Brands doesn’t mean compromise on any of the good things we’ve come to know, love and expect. And I hope to see Tasha at every new opening.

I’m hungry now.

brandslut xoxo

Do Gooders

Humankind's customisable speech-bubble business cards

I met Jessica Simpson for lunch today at the Woolies Café in Hyde Park for our regular: harvest table, The Best cappuccino and a glass of strawberry water. Yum-o! No, I don’t actually say ‘yum-o’, The Rain Man does and I think it’s hysterical, on par with ‘yikes’ which I’ve somehow adopted recently. Yikes! Anyhoo, between solving the world’s problems and making cappuccino froth moustaches, Jessica Simpson whipped out her new sassy little business card. The advertising agency JS works for subscribes to all things good, carbon neutral, socially aware and sustainable and have recently rebranded as Humankind. The business has carried the good thread through to its corporate stationery which uses a ‘one size fits all’ approach, allowing staff to stamp their individual details onto the generic business card in order to customise.

Not only is the card creative, quirky and memorable, but it reduces cost from an economies of scale approach and reduces wastage, ultimately saving the planet. Next time your company needs business cards, use recycled paper, vegetable ink and customisable solutions.

To find out more about FSC approval, click here to visit the website of the Forest Stewardship Council, or e-mail the South African representative John Scotcher on jscotcher@forestlore.co.za to find out how your business can become recognised.

Because together we really can make a difference.

Yours in all things green,

brandslut xoxo